well, after a few weeks of being without a car, I finally found one on craigslist. $400 later, and I'm the proud owner of a beat up jalopy that purrs like a kitten! I am super stoked about being able to get around now, and if I play my cards right, I might not have to drop ALL my classes this semester after all. That would be awesome in itself. So tomorrow I get to change out brake pads and oil, and hopefully get the brake lights to turn off so I dont have to detatch the battery cable when I park it. It has a few minor issues, like the doorhandles being broken, and the headliner that I just ripped out. No radio, but I usually drive in silence most of the time anyway and since I have to leave the window cracked to open the door, that just means there is less incentive to break into it. I'm happy, and since it cost me less than the other car would have been to get back from the dealer, I've got a leg up too. My car! Now I need to get the title and stickers taken care of, and hopefully within a week, I'll have it legal to drive it. Woohoooooo!

without a car

Since being without a car has kept me from attending school for more than a week now, I have had plenty of time to think about my situation and where it will lead me. Mostly, it has led me into the kindness of others thus far. People I have never met or seldom seen, have been my greatest support this last week. A family from church who has watched my children, brought by a meal one day. An elderly woman from across the street has allowed me to drive her car to take my daughter to school. A woman from the school called to help me get Hannah on the school bus route. Things unasked for, but provided by mercy, and generosity, have lifted my spirits all the week long, so that even while things grew more difficult, they were made more bearable. Thank you to all of my friends and all of my family, who have been there for me, even if only by listening to me grumble.

Well, its official today. I no longer have a car, so it looks like school is out of the question for me this semester. Funny thing though, is that I still have financial aid that is pending, and I was told on Monday that it would be processed and dispersed on tuesday. That obviously never happened, so the ball got dropped, and my education just got pulled out from under me. Me and Hannah had to ride bikes to school this morning, so of course she was late, because it wasn't until we walked outside to get in the car when I realized that the car had finally been repossessed. I cant say I wasn't expecting it, I thought he would be here last week. But I was hopeful, especially when I was told to expect the funds by the next day. So now I am sitting at home wandering what is next. I still have no job, I very likely will drop out of school completely, and I doubt if I do, that I will be capable of returning next semester, as I don't know where I will be living. Probably not in this house. I hope you have a plan for me Lord, because I am at the end of all my minds possibilities.

Yesterday I spent the evening in the library with my 2 little girls, waiting for an available book to write a report that is due today. Most of the time was spent waiting for any book to be returned to the reserve desk. When I was able to finally obtain one, I was already frustrated and eager to be back home. The single book I had reviewed contained very little material to work with, and it was not within the timeline that I was supposed to be working with. Of course, not willing to spend the entire evening at the campus library waiting for more books to become available, and needing to return home to prepare a meal before the kiddo's bedtime, I took what I had and decided to make it work somehow. Normally, I might be able to abstractly argue some relevance, seeing as how this book was selected by the instructor herself, but due to not having the required textbook of the class itself, I am left with a daunting predicament. I must somehow find some relevance to the course material, without having access to the course material itself. Now if I were an average student, living on campus with typical roommates and time enough to spend alone working on my assignments, I would simply spend the entire evening at the library studying several different selected books, and also check out the required text so that I could read the course cannon to determine an argument for some better suited material. I am not an average student, I live 20 minutes drive from campus, my roommates are 3 and 6 years old, and I am never alone unless I can find suitable babysitters. That is difficult to do when you are unemployed, penniless, out of gas, and have no phone. Ill be lucky if I can make it to campus to turn in any paper at all today, and I certainly wont be expecting a passing mark on it. I truly enjoy being in school, and I actually like doing the work, but right now, there are a few barriers for me to overcome this semester, and I am uncertain I will be able to do so.

It looks like i'll be dropping my drawing class this semester. Sadly, it is due to a long delay in my pell grant funds. Not enough gas to get to class, no phone to call for help, no job to pay the rent. I am still hopeful of my other 2 classes this semester though, and the change in the schedule will keep me from sprinting from one place to the other. Still, I am a little disapointed I wont be able to keep it. Truth be told, I am still very thankful for being able to go to school at all again. It has been a blessing to get back into my artwork again with a positive focus. Having Hannah and Maizy here with me has been another great blessing that has given me many challenges to face over the last year. Hannah has been excited to develop her reading skills this year, and so far she is doing great. Maizy on the other hand, has been stuck at home with the grumpy dad, needles to say we have bumped heads a time or two on who is really in charge. Both of the girls are being really helpful to me lately, by vaccuming their room, or handing me clothes to fold. I am fortunate at the moment to have access to an internet signal, especially now that my phone has been cut off. I am in an intertidal pool at the moment and must make due with what is given me for now while I await the Lords hand to guide me to where he has prepared for me. Fortunate am I that my Father above has given me the trials to my patience to prepare me for these times.

sunday night

The Dallas Cowboys lost in the new stadium to the New York Giants at 31-33. In a stadium opener, Romo was a little underwhelming with 3 interceptions. Can't blame them all on him, but still a very weak effort to keep the ball in your control. The defense played somewhat solid early, but for being left out to dry by the poor ball control of the offense, they could not muster the strength to stop the Giants offense from marching down field for a game winning field goal. No surprises really when you consider that Romo has a knack for coughing up the ball in close games all last season, and clutch mishaps in playoff games for a couple seasons now. The Giants did an excellent job of converting turnovers which accounted for 17 of the teams points. Those silly throwaways just don't cut it, especially against a division rival at home. In the end, I don't think anyone was totally surprised by the end result, but it was very disapointing anyway. Maybe we can get them back in a few weeks in New York for another sunday night spotlight? Hmmmmmm......

In the spirit of gardening, and of course a little bit of money saving, I decided to plant few vegetables this year. I had planted onions, carrots, radishes, lettuce, corn, watermelon, and pumpkin. I had a decent little crop of carrots out of it all. It filled up the veggie drawer for a week or two. the rest all died off, or just didn't get harvested. My ten rows of corn ended up withering and got taken with mold, and the pumpkin i picked was 3 in. across. it got attacked with thumb tacks by a little girl. I did get a couple of melons though, about 6 inches big. Haha, the girls like them, which is good, because I cant really eat them without an itchy mouth. It was a fun garden, although most of what I grew wasn't fruitful, But I did learn a couple of things. Corn takes more water than I want to give it, don't let melons hang on a metal fence, and pick the lettuce before it goes to seed, oh, and the radishes too. Pumpkins were a little fussy, and just when I thought they were gonna do great, the heat killed them. My backyard experiment did yield a couple of cucumbers, but they got taken shortly b the heat too. I haven't gotten into a good watering habit yet I guess, and even my little potted trees have struggled under my regime. Lessons learned; weeding is a yearlong process, water in the evenings or the mornings, and don't fertilize a newly repotted tree that was root pruned.