After hours of laboring all night and through the morning to complete the ever important assignment due at the beginning of the week, I found myself stuck in a funny place where none of the work I did paid off, or even mattered. A severe case of hopelessness washed over me and I was left to ponder my oversight of the simplest of things. The assignment would not get turned in, the due date missed and the class left unattended. If I had known that Monday would have been so harsh to me, would I have put out that incredible effort to complete a mediocre project? I doubt I would have, and so it would have been put off again I am sure, and completed with less care for a similar grade.

That is a little pessimistic of me to say that, but I also have a good idea of my own trends to procrastinate a project until I have no time to finish it with any comfort. I did finish the project, though my biggest obsticle was not time, but supplies. The worst part of the project was not its difficulty, but my own tendency to perfect the silliest part of the object, and overlook the final product.

I spent somewhere around 7 hours saturday night hand stitching a shoe made entirely out of masking tape. The thread I used was merely thin strips of masking tape that had been twisted up. I spent all my effort into making the awesome stitching, and when it came time to work on the bottom of the shoe, I had to make due with a quickly applied layer of tread that looked as ridiculous as it would perform. I was out of tape. Well, I finished it at least. It would get turned in on time and I would receive a fair grade.

Well, monday morning rolls around. Waking late and having a sick little girl that needed to see a doctor. Was it serious illness? Probably not, and there likely wasn't much the doctor would be able to do either except throw some antibiotics at it. Well, when scheduling the appointment, I also realized that school would be missed. The doctors note will help that, but when I wasn't able to reach any of my sitters for the day, I realized that all school would be missed for the day. Mondays due date is rendered meaningless because the dad in this house is all alone. The worst part is that I had all kinds of opportunity to work out sitting arrangements over the weekend, or at least double check that they were still intact. I didn't talk to anyone about daycare because I assumed it was taken care of. But it had never in fact been verified that monday was in the clear. Likely, a simple reminder was all that was needed saturday evening or sunday afternoon. By monday, its a little too late, and so am I.

Better luck next time. Now I have officially set myself up for trouble this semester. I might have to drop a class because I have missed more classes than I have been to, and those have been late. All because I cant figure out what to do with those kids during school. I have received a lot of help already, and I am grateful for that, exceedingly, but sometimes the help falters too. I don't have an argument there, since I am penniless and essentially begging. However I do have to wander if I am taking on too much. 9 hours didn't seem like a whole lot to take when I had a job, but now that I don't have anything to do all day, it seems like an incredible amount. Funny how backwards things like that make such a profound difference. Then again, it would probably make a lot of difference if I would just lose my pride for a little bit and ask for help.